Quotes From Last Night

April 9, 2010 · Posted in Uncategorized 

Here’s a selection of context-free quotes from some crazy nights in Milan.  Most involve Marco in some form or fashion…

“He was looking for the bathroom.  I’m not sure how he ended up in the hotel lobby in his boxers.”

“You don’t eat flan out of a box.”

M: “Lean over and say (screaming) I WANT SOME OF YOUR <BLEEPING> PIZZA RIGHT NOW!”
Girl: Do you want some of our pizza?
Me: Um….yes please?

It was a mountain lion.  A mountain lion on skis.

K: “Did you tell him the story?”
M: “Yeah, I did, why?”
K: “Well did you tell him about the cops?”
M: “No….no I forgot that part”

Is that a giant purple snail?

Ma Cecil…..che bello!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I mean (spreads hands apart)….che bello!!!!!!

The Germans….we love the idea of a European Union.  I mean, we tried to do it twice ourselves.

“Prof.a, my name is Joe….like Joseph….like Giuseppe in Italian.” “Okay John…”

K: “I can’t believe you’re staying in a hostel in Bratislava by yourself!”
T: “Why, is it not safe?”
J: “It’s fine.”
K: “No, it’s not fine…they’re gonna rape you.”

J: “So I’m sleeping on a bench in Stockholm’s main station tonight.”
J: “Um, why are you doing that?”
J: “It’s a long, long, crazy story.  Let’s just say all of this can be blamed on a Portuguese millionaire….”

J: Last night was probably the worst night of sleep I’ve ever had.
A: Why, what happened?
J: So I’ve never done acid….

K: Did you see the big letters in Amsterdam?
M: No
K: Did you see the Van Gogh museum?
M: No
K: Are you sure you were in Amsterdam?
J: I think this is like the time he was in Venice but really was in Verona…

K: I like good looking people.  And orgies.

K: Are you sure this is a good idea?
J: Yeah, you’re totally fine, you can do this.
(five minutes later)
K: No this was a bad idea.

“Ho fame, ho freddo, sono stanco…ma sto schiando….tutto bene!”

(I’m hungry, I’m cold, and I’m tired…but I’m skiing…it’s all good!)

“Juan…the problem is…your face.”

“Juan….do you have our passports?”
“Um…..no?”

(something gets said in Spanish)
J: You know I don’t speak Spanish and can’t understand you!
K: (throws hands up in exhaustion) You’re not making any effort!

K: I’m so drunk – I can’t ski like this.  (five minutes later)  Should we get some grappa?

“Blame it on the a-a-a-a-a-ltitude.”

J: “I think that in the battle of Europe vs. The Americans, Europe is winning.  Apparently it’s hard to be everywhere and do everything without wearing down.”

“Fat kids don’t get kidnapped.”

J: “The end of the night is kind of fuzzy…”
M: “We didn’t lose anything, and no one got kicked out.  So, overall, a good night.”
J: “That’s how far we’ve fallen now huh?”

K: “No, in Venezuela we don’t have earthquakes.  We have Chavez.”

M: “Why are you laughing at me?  If I were serious right now, I’d be really offended!”

M: “If you fly, you look like a pussy.  If you run really fast, that’s different.”

A: “Why haven’t we taken over Canada yet?  I know, right, I mean, they have….stuff?”

M: “I didn’t like Hangover b/c it was in English.”
U: “They didn’t translate it into Spanish down in Mexico?”
J: “No, he didn’t like it b/c there weren’t any donkeys in it.”
M: “Yeah – that’s why I like Shrek so much.”

J: That’s totally skiable.
D: There’s a 100 foot rock face in the middle of that slope.
J: Okay that part’s not skiable….

K: She’s a 4!
(girl takes coat off)
K: Okay she’s a 0!

M: Non Brasiliano….TUTTO!!!

J: We invented the term “cougar”.
J: Who’s “we”?
J: My friends and I did.  We invented it.

M: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!  That guy almost got hit by a car!
K: “That guy” is our friend!

Shut up, stupid pigeon.

J: “I was gonna buy everyone breakfast, but then I couldn’t find my pants.”

J: “You!  Put some pants on!  You! Take these pills!  Trust me!”

J: “This is an ang blu.  Tell them I invented it.  Tell them the Puerto Rican invented it.”

J: “If they’re in high school, they’re your target.  If they have kids in high school, they’re my target.”

M: There are 3 things I don’t do by myself:  1) have sex  2) going to the theater 3) eating in a restaurant

“Hey…Yoe!”

“Ma che cazzo”

Don’t be a…..

“DON’T BE A POOSSY!”

And finally…if you went to ANY class at all, you heard this more than once from a professor:

“Did anyone read the case?  Anyone at all?  Does anyone know what case we’re studying?  Does anyone know what class this is?  I give up…”


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