Been a while…

February 22, 2012 · Posted in Uncategorized 

It’s been a while…I basically skipped 2011.  It’s not really my fault though.  Two things happened that kept me from updating.  1 – I was stuck in Steinhausen, Switzerland for about three months.  This place is a virtual black hole – I was told that my wireless connection was weak because I closed my door.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that kind of the point of wireless?  In any case, it was just short of traumatic and I sincerely hope I never see Steinhausen again as long as I live.  2 – I can’t fit in to skinny jeans.  And if you can’t fit in to skinny jeans, you are legally not allowed to go out in Brooklyn.

As a quick recap – I spent 2011 moving to New York (Williamsburg, Brooklyn actually), trying to figure out what would give dinosaurs high cholesterol, whittling a new set of kitchen implements, small-batch producing absinthe in recycled oil drums, wrestling musk oxen with my bare hands, bottle feeding endangered swallows on their migration south for the winter (some swallows are non-non-migratory), and practicing my axe throwing skills with the Midwest Knife and Axe Throwers (I’m currently a Hobbyist but should be Expert soon).

Something strange happened in 2011, and a few people have commented on it.  Food seemed to jump the shark a bit.  Everyone is now  (ok and this has been approaching nonsense for years let’s be honest) organic, natural, farm-raised on grandma’s plot of land she settled on in 1734, wholesome, and most likely full of s**t.  And not in a compost-is-full-of-manure way either.  I don’t need to “experience” my water or the way my silverware curves match the ceiling tiles.  In fact, if it’s truly an experience, you don’t have to tell me that.  This goes along with the whole “if you’ve gotta say it, it’s probably not”.  See: clean coal, safe nuclear, the Philadelphia Eagles “dream team”, and Michelle Bachman’s “I’m a serious candidate for President.”  No you’re not.

Also stop drinking drinks that end in -tini anything.  Just because. The Crafted Cocktail hates you.

So now we’re stuck with a small class of people who actually are changing the way we experience food, and pretty much everyone else.

I think we should just kind of agree to chill out, shop at our local farmer’s market, buy from our local butcher (or fishmonger, which I can allegedly do now), drink a microbrew and stop being so damn fussy.  We’re not that cool anyway.

Unless you own a vintage duck press.  Then you probably are that cool.

Either way, let’s get this thing started again.

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Comments

One Response to “Been a while…”

  1. bomankc on February 23rd, 2012 1:11 pm

    haha, this is awesome…I have to go find a vintage duck press now :)